Sonna na bitch

Must be read with Italian accent:

One day Ima gonna to Detroit to a bigga hotel.
In a morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss's toast.
She bring me only one piss.
I tella her I wanna two piss on the plate.
She says you better no piss on the plate, you sonna na bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she call me a sonna na bitch.

Later I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant.
The waitress bring me a spoon and knife, but no fock.
I tella her I wanna fock. She tells me everyone wanna fock.
I tella her "you no understand". I wanna fock on the table.
She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna na bitch.

So I go back to my room ina hotel and there isa no shit ona my bed.
I calla the manager an tella him I wanna shit.
He tella me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand.
I wanna shit on the bed.
He say you better not shit on the bed, you sonna na bitch.

I go to the check out and the man at the desk say "peace to you".
I say piss on you, too, you sonna na bitch. I gonna back to Italy!

Uralt, Quelle unbekannt (Hinweise willkommen).
Wieder entdeckt beim Ausmisten gerade eben.

She fawn is lie want

A: My nay she sure dorn way!

B: Woe dean?

A: By dar fair sane.

B: Loss me shown. Host us far cared own. Dish null an cairn ouse an. Soda, yeats game us own. For ma mid’n say say lift oven idea o ten he gale.

A: It row minute.

B: Gey hair do, ace is Nick star by.

A: Ace is o’bear so I sick.

B: Dive ale I knee! Gay hair dough! E for four, do forced hin air mere know, o’bear sherr nay bow girl.

A: Woard Hias! E hope an stearn greace un.

B: Gay halt in Dick near! Fix Noah mole, days is was mid day own fan gare. Nick’s we share O’Ryan. Shy’s drag.

Dialog zwischen einem Anfänger (A) und einem steirischen Schilehrer (B).
Uralt, Quelle unbekannt.
 
Let's learn Steirisch; should be red from an English native speaker!

Besonders wenn mir Zuneigung entzogen wird, der ich mir schon sicher bin, leide ich sehr.

... ich mache es gern allen leuten recht, und besonders wenn mir zuneigung entzogen wird, der ich mir schon sicher bin, leide ich sehr.

entdeckt in "zuerst starb ich – Kathrin Resetarits"